The Ultimate Reframe — A Walk in the Woods — Turn Down the Noise with Sonja Irina Johansen
Episode Transcript · Recorded on the trail, in the woods behind my house
You were never broken. You were biological. I'm Sonja Irina Johansen, and for decades, I believed my struggle with food was a character flaw, until I learned the science that said otherwise. This is Turn Down the Noise, the show about why we really reach for food and the gentler way through.
I want to say something today that might sound a little crazy. Stay with me. We're just walking. I'm grateful to the foods I used to reach for. Genuinely, deeply grateful. Genuinely, deeply grateful. Because here's the truth nobody says out loud. Those substances kept their promises. Available at 2:00 in the morning, never judging, never late, never once.
Not once in decades did they fail to show up. Unconditional consistency. Do you know how rare that is? Some of us have never had that from a single human being. So no wonder "just stop" never worked. Nobody warns you that "just stop" means ending the most reliable relationship you ever had.
And here's the part that surprises people. Mine wasn't wine. It wasn't chips. Mine was nut butter, a food most of the world calls healthy. Doesn't matter what the label said. There were three places in my kitchen where it lived, and my radar knew every one of them. Does that sound crazy?
Talking about your most reliable relationship being with nut butter? Maybe. But doesn't it also feel true? Yours might be chocolate, popcorn, the thing with three hiding places in your kitchen. So a while back, in a practice I learned from Sarah Peyton's work, I did something even crazier. I sat with the nut butter, actually took its seat, and I asked it, "What are you doing for me?"
And I will never forget the answer. It said, "I bring you solace." It's like climbing to the top of a mountain. All you can see are the clouds below. The to-do lists are down there somewhere. The pulls of other people, down there. Your phone isn't even with you. For five minutes, nothing can reach you.
I was never craving nut butter. I was starving for five minutes above the clouds. And in that moment, for the first time in my life, I wasn't angry at it. I said, "Thank you. Thank you for being the only thing that could get me up that mountain."
And then, this is what I actually came out here to tell you. I looked up. These woods are right behind my house. And when you step in, it's like crossing a barrier. Sound doesn't travel the same in here. The chaos doesn't follow you past the tree line. There's the sunset. Ugh, isn't it beautiful? As if on cue. You're standing on my mountaintop right now. And that pull toward the nut butter, I keep checking for it, the way you check a sore tooth. It's just quiet. Not fought, not white-knuckled. Handed off. Your mountaintop might not be woods.
It might be a phone call, a 20-second hug, a room of people who know exactly what 2:00 in the morning feels like. The pattern is the same. Find the job. Thank the worker. And then gently, gradually hire some new help.
So here's the ultimate reframe. You were never in a war. You were in a relationship with the only friend who could always make it.
And you don't end a relationship like that with a declaration of war. You end it with a thank you and a wide roster. You were never broken. You were biological. With love and light from my mountaintop.
Keep your plan. Keep your practitioner. Keep your medication. This is company, and not instead. Thanks for walking with me today. Everything I make lives at transformwithsonja.com. Until next time, with love and light, Sonja.
